Hot tubs make great time machines. As Hot Tub Time Machine 2 will prove, in theaters February 20th, hot tubs are the perfect vehicle for moving through time and space. Everyone is half-naked, the water is warm, the booze is flowing through the veins faster thanks to the increased body temperatures (Thanks science!) and it sure as hell beats a DeLorean. What does that seat, like three time travelers at the most? Nice try, Marty!
In celebration of the release of Hot Tub Time Machine 2, and just because hot tubs rule, we want to see your epic party pics. Submit your best party pics here or tweet the photos using the hashtag #hottubtimemachine2party AND a hashtag with your school name to be entered.
The top three schools from the submissions will be entered for a chance at the grand prize — the school will play host to The World’s Largest Hot Tub Party. The winning photo’s school will play host to the party and the person who submitted the pic will receive 4 VIP tickets to the blowout. We’ll be attempting to break the Guinness World Record for most people in a hot tub. This party will not only be huge, it will be a record breaker!
In the meantime, here are more than a few valid reasons that hot tubs make for excellent time machines.
You’ve Instantly Become the Coolest Person in the Area
Let’s say you’re just traveling back a few decades and not into some futuristic robot holocaust scenario. If you land in a moderate-income neighborhood and you have a hot tub with features beyond anything the locals have ever seen, you’ve just created the ultimate party destination. Everyone is going to want to experience your super powered tub with led lights in the bottom. You’ll probably be the mayor by the end of the week.
You Look Less Suspicious
Remember in Terminator when someone would get sent to the past and immediately have an uncomfortable encounter because they were naked? Imagine how much less awkward it would be if Arnold had showed up sitting in a luxurious hot tub? Not only would those street thugs not want to fight him; they’d probably end up asking to hang out. So in a way, it would’ve built friendships awww.
It’s Easier to Hide
Marty McFly had to try and find a hiding spot for a car with doors that opened up to look like a spaceship. Good luck explaining that to someone in 1940. On the other hand, all you have to do is throw a tarp over a hot tub and you’re set. You could even skip the tarp, drain it, and leave it sitting out. For all they know it’s a fancy way to water your horses..
You’ll Stay Warm
Personally, I’ve never journeyed through a tear in the space-time continuum, but if it’s anything like outer space, then it’s really cold. You don’t want to arrive in a new time or dimension with a cold, do you? By traveling in a hot tub you could stay warm and focus on exploring the past instead of stocking up on Theraflu.
You Can Make That Stupid State Farm Joke Without Being Annoying
Remember when your idiot friends wouldn’t stop saying, “Can I get a hot tub?” Hopefully you don’t have any companions that are still quoting State Farm commercials, but if you went back just far enough for the reference to be fresh and relevant, you could say it as soon as you arrived and everyone would think you were so funny. It’s probably not the best reason to time travel, but sometimes it’s the little things that matter the most.
If You Were Stuck with Someone You Hated, It Could Easily Be Solved
Remember how annoying and awful Ashton Kutcher was on The Butterfly Effect? If only there would have been a subtle way to eliminate him while traveling through time. Maybe by, I don’t know, drowning him? With a hot tub you could grab that awful time traveling partner that you know is just going to ruin everyone’s life and hold him underwater until you reach your destination. Everyone is so concerned for their own safety during those moments that they wouldn’t pay attention to you holding him underwater. Plus it’s the perfect cover because accidents are bound to happen when you’re defying everything mankind has ever known to be true.
It’s Way Sturdier Than a Phone Booth
Bill and Ted had to stare out into the horrifying unknown as they shot through time in a phone booth. What if the glass cracks? You’re going to fall out and drift through eternal darkness like Clooney did in Gravity. That’s not a good use of your time, in my opinion. A hot tub is constructed with much more time and precision than a phone booth. How much cooler would Superman have been if he changed from Clark Kent in a hot tub instead of a phone booth? Lois Lane would have been all over him as either identity.
If It Gets Bad Enough, At Least You’ll Have Something To Drink
Depending on how far you travel back in time, the drinking water could be full of parasites and toxins that your future body just couldn’t handle. If only there were a giant tub of water that had been heated to purify it. Granted, there’s probably going to be some body hair in it and you’ll have to live with the fact that you drank your friend’s bath water, but it has to be better than worms growing in your stomach, right? Right?
You’re Probably Going to Die
Odds are, when you start tampering with the fabrics of time, you’re going to ruin your life, die, or destroy the universe. Knowing this, wouldn’t you rather spend your last few moments of life in the comforts of a luxury hot tub? Sure the earth is about to collapse into itself, but for now, the only thing you’re focused on is how great those water jets feel on your lower back.