Justin Bieber Opened Up About His Leaked Dick Pics And I Immediately Hate Him Again


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And I was just warming up to the Biebs. I was far from becoming a Belieber, but he was transforming from a dude who I wanted to cold-cock in the face to a dude I just want to open hand slap. Like really hard. In front of his mother. I may have even apologized after. That’s an upgrade.

But I believe people can change and to think of how big of a douchebag I’d be if I were given millions of dollars before I was legally eligible to drink a beer makes me sympathize for the little fucker.

I actually respected him more for rocking out with his cock out in Bora Bora while a supermodel  lay semi-visible in the background. Granted, it sparked a whirlwind of emotions,  but if I had his life I’d be walking around naked helicoptering my schlong around like I was trying to take flight.

Finally, me and Biebs found some common ground.

And then he opened up to Access Hollywood about the incident and I now loathe him again.

“My first thing was like…how can they do this? Like, I feel super violated. Like, I feel like I can’t step outside and feel like I can go outside naked. Like, you should feel comfortable in your own space… especially that far away.”

“That was shrinkage for me.”

The “I feel violated” schtick followed by the “it’s normally bigger”  load of shit. Pick one, bro. Embrace it or deplore it. Be the good guy or the bad guy. Can’t be both. Can’t toe the line. And fuck you you feel “violated.” 70% of America didn’t even believe you had a penis so you should be sending that photographer an Edible Arrangement or something.

God damnit Biebs, stand for something.

[h/t Access Hollywood]