Kind Of Disappointing That I’ll Never Be As Cool As This Little Kid Getting Lit To Drake And Migos At Coachella

It legit took me until 8th grade to move a limb at a school dance. They used to call me Stephen Hawking because I would just sit there motionless and drool. They were mean. So mean. Stairway to Heaven would come on and I’d pretend to enter into a sudden battle with diarrhea before locking myself in a bathroom stall until Jake Stevenson’s hot mom came to pick us up. God those were confusing days. And damn Mrs. Stevenson was fine.

My childhood experience is a far cry from this little kid stealing the show at the world’s most pretentious music event. I don’t know who let this kid into Coachella without a fedora, but goddamn what a show stopper.

You know you’re going places when Odell saddles up next to you.

I’m 29 years old and my father has never looked this proud.


Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.