Kim Kardashian’s Vapid Letter To Her Future Self Lampooned By Jimmy Kimmel

A couple of days ago, Kim Kardashian starred in a video for Glamour where she wrote a letter to herself ten years in the future. It starts, “Dear Kim… I hope our society has eradicated poverty and halted climate change that could wipe out vast populations around the world as well as affect my children and my children’s children.”

Just kidding! Her priority is her money-making ass. Duh! She couldn’t even pretend not to be obsessed with her body; the reality star starts out by saying that she’s worried that future Kim got fat. “When it comes to how you feel about your body, remember to be kind to yourself and enjoy how you look now, because you’re not getting any younger.”

She nods annoyingly and types away on her special marble computer, because nothing says high tech quite like using the same material that ancient Greek sculptors used 2,300 years ago to construct naked gods with.

She prays that there are scientific miracles that advance our society to zeniths that we’ve never dreamed of achieving, “May science invent a mysterious and delicious green juice to keep you tan forever.”

She asks the important questions, “Are selfies still a thing?” and “Am I still on fleek?” Because that’s exactly what you would ask someone in the future instead of making an intelligent request such as, “Can you send me a copy of the most updated Grays Sports Almanac?”

The whole ridiculous video was pure comedic fodder that Jimmy Kimmel and James Corden ran with.

In the year 2025, Jimmy hopes that his future self is #blessed, that his aunt isn’t dead and wonders if Hitler came back to life.

Miraculously, Corden wrote himself a letter to his self ten years in the future back in 2005. It is chock-full of mid-2000’s references such as VonDutch trucker hats, O-Town and the Adkins Diet.

Kim Kardashian, the gift that keeps on giving.