Miley Cyrus, 22, And Dane Cook, 43, Are Reportedly Dating And Umm, Uhh, WHAT?!

I’m usually not one to put a concerted effort into following the Hollywood dating scene because a.) I have a whole closet full of relationship issues myself and b.) I think famous people “dating” and “marrying” like regular people is completely unsustainable because of the constant vagina and penises being thrown in their faces. As presidential candidate Kanye West so eloquently put it in his campaign speech, “How you expect me to stay faithful in a room full-o-hoes?” We don’t, Kanye. But your wife may.

But this.

This right here.

What I’m about to type.

Is fucking hysterical.

Half-lesbian, half-alien Miley Cyrus and that in-your-face comedian Dane Cook who was funny in high school and has since become *cool* to hate are reportedly dating. Miley is 22 years old, Dane Cook is 43.

According to the Daily Mail, the pair have been friends for many years and in December 2013  were spotted dancing together at The Woods in LA.

He also zinged her with this flirtatious quip back in 2013.

And after her ex (before she dated Victoria’s Secret supermodel Stella Maxwell) Patrick Schwarzenegger was spotted licking salt off a chick’s tits before taking a tequila shot while on Spring Break, she reposted one of Cook’s Instagram posts that cryptically read, “Don’t you ever let someone treat you like a yellow Starburst. You are a pink Starburst.” Cute.

The two have recently been friendly on social media, and gossip sites have reported the two to be ‘official.’ AND THOSE SITES ARE ALWAYS RIGHT.

Fuck the haters, Dane and Miley. Love is love!!!!…..I give it until next Tuesday.

P.S. I got nothing but love for Dane, even if some of his Instrgrams are insufferable.

[h/t Uproxx]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.