For all the single bros out there who didn’t attend the Women’s March, you missed a primo opportunity to find love or lust. All you needed to do is hold a sign that read #I’m With Her accompanied with your phone number and then wait for the avalanche of phone calls to come through. Maybe throw an Orange is the New Black reference on there because girls love that show more than they love delicious recipes on Pinterest involving guacamole. Sure, it’s a bit of a gimmick but women, like men, just want to be understood. They want you to be in their corner. Just as you’d expect your girl to support your borderline unhealthy gambling addiction and drinking heavily on most weekdays, girls want you to recognize that society is structured to oppress them. Empathy is key in meeting a mate and if you can make it through the date without yelling at her for her refusal to put your micropenis in her mouth, then you may stand a chance at not dying alone. Give it a try on your next bar night, bro. Sometimes less is more.
