First off, that video is arousing. Like it Foxy Brown ‘Hot Spot‘ arousing. I’m not saying that this video would ever be my first stroke option, but if my internet went down and I suddenly acquired a case of Alzheimers to eliminate the ‘from memory’ option, I could certainly make do with this.
Especially now that Ariana Grande confirmed what we already knew: that this song is absolutely, positively about riding a male organ until you go full Lieutenant Dan.
Grande told MTV News on the red carpet at the VMAs on Sunday:
“That whole song is kind of about, you know, soreness — riding leading to soreness. Ride dick bicycle’ is the lyric, indeed.”
Here are the lyrics to the first half of the song before Nicki Minaj comes in:
I’m talkin’ to ya
See you standing over there with your body
Feeling like I wanna rock with your body
And we don’t gotta think ’bout nothin’ (’bout nothin’)
I’m comin’ at ya
Cause I know you got a bad reputation
Doesn’t matter, cause you give me temptation
And we don’t gotta think ’bout nothin’ (’bout nothin’)These friends keep talkin’ way too much
Say I should give you up
Can’t hear them no, cause I…I’ve been here all night
I’ve been here all day
And boy, got me walkin’ side to side
I’ve been here all night
I’ve been here all day
And boy, got me walkin’ side to side (side to side)
Nicki posted the below tweet indicating that Ariana wanted her to keep in a particularly raunchy line that Minaj ultimately omitted:
I took out a diff line that Ariana liked. It went ~ the D so good, got me screaming OH SHIT. the D so good got me doin HOE SHIT. 😩
— Nicki Minaj (@NICKIMINAJ) May 21, 2016
Ariana’s boyfriend, Mac Miller, gotta be loving ode to his meat popsicle.
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Ah, what a feel good story. Can’t imagine anything or anyone ruining such a beautiful thing. Oh wait…
Jack just explained that the song Side to Side is about getting railed so hard you can't walk. SO MANY EMOTIONZ.
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) August 30, 2016
We can now all expect a 10,000 word essay on why male penises should be chopped off our bodies and sewed into dresses for Dunham to wear to award shows.
P.S. The whole ‘riding dick until you can’t walk thing’ has kind of got me down. Literally every chick whose ever ridden my chess piece has had no problem going to Soul Cycle afterwards.
[h/t MTV]