The last time I laughed this hard at a rap? It might have been from the triumphant stupidity of Dirt Nasty’s “1980.” Or maybe the ridiculousness that came with Maino dropping a verse on ItsTheReal’s “Beef Wit Us.” I don’t know. This one may top them all.
Lil Dicky—a previously unknown rapper with a sure-to-rise 1,100 fans on Facebook—just released this ode to dudes with hot girlfriends who unfortunately have good-looking ex-boyfriends, called, naturally, “Ex-Boyfriend.” Many of us have been in the awkward situation laid out by the song: You meet the ex-boyfriend, you look him up and down, you shake his hand, and he gives you that smirk. The Ray J-patented “I Hit It First” smirk. It’s demoralizing. And it’s even worse when the guy maybe hits the gym a few more times a week than you, or has cool fucking hair or something.
What’s so funny about “Ex-Boyfriend” here is that, after the meeting, Lil Dicky follows the ex into a bathroom, and then the song proceeds to take a two-minute long detour into EXCLUSIVELY discussing the guy’s junk. It’s absurd—I’ve never heard so many ways to memorably describe a member. Or a rap that made me hit repeat so quickly.