George Zimmerman Wants to Fight Kanye; Meanwhile DMX Promises to Pee on Him


With his modern art career taking off in the valuable “Idiot” market, George Zimmerman has turned his gaze to another lucrative field in the U.S. economy: celebrity boxing. Putting aside the fact that—regardless of your views on the case—he’s not a fucking celebrity, Zimmerman is said to be entertaining multiple offers from other famous types who’d like to kick his ass in a charity boxing match. Two of those guys are DMX and the Game.

In the first corner: the Game, a 6-foot-5 pretty chiseled guy, who inked a tattoo of Trayvon Martin last year as a tribute to the slain teenager. He might come prepared. And his quote on the fight, which is kind of ridiculous, is maybe the third-least crazy in this blog post.

“I would not be boxing for me,” The Game told TMZ. “I’d be boxing for the legacy of Trayvon Martin and for his family. I would box him to knock him out. I would definitely take pleasure in it. It’s legal, and I want to show him you can solve your disputes without a weapon.”


Nevertheless, Zimmerman’s promoters say the Game is a perfect candidate for the fight. “Boxing isn’t new to me,” Zimmerman also told TMZ. “It’s something I had picked up well before the incident and it’s something that I liked… and I was able to lose a tremendous amount of weight and get a healthy lifestyle.”

DMX also told TMZ—I’m detecting a theme here—that he’s interested in a rumble; here’s what he had to say:

“I am going to beat the living fuck out him. I am breaking every rule in boxing to make sure I fuck him right up. Once I am done with him, I am going to whip my dick out and piss on him, right in his muthafuckin’ face.”


Alright! Finally, Zimmerman and his promoter both made it clear that they’d entertain offers to fight Kanye West, too, because—in a really rich irony—Zimmerman doesn’t like Kanye’s “history of attacking ‘defenseless people.'”

What a country.

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