Someone asked Reddit what the most bullshit “for men” products were, so I went through and picked the funniest and most ridiculous responses, which you can find below…
Dude Stick “Chapstick For Men”
You ever listen to 50 Cent’s “Magic Stick” and thought, mmm, I want that all over my lips!? Then, you’re in luck. You might also be attracted to men. Self-discovery is an amazing adventure!
Sunscreen For Men
Only a company like “Banana Boat” would try to sell something like this. Get on the boat, the Banana Boat? Why? Why do you want me to ride your banana? And then cover me in your lotion?
Kleenex Mansize Tissues For Men
Yo, you blow big loads!??!
Yo, you like to be covered in big loads?!?!?
I can’t really knock this idea. Somehow, it’s less offensive than ‘donut holes’. But, you’re still eating balls. Balls or holes, pick your poison. Chef from South Park would be proud and might be owed some royalties.
Hero Clean “The Household Cleaning Line Built For Men”
I get that most cleaning products are targeted to women, but have some men NOT been buying cleaning products or refusing to clean because it’s for chicks? Don’t get me wrong, I hate cleaning, but it’s not because people will think I have a beaver.
Can you imagine carrying this tool box of chocolates by a construction site?
You know, so you’re pearly whites ain’t girly.
The man bun is still a thing. Because women continue to bone bros with man buns. As soon as women shut down their downstairs parts to man bun bros, it’ll go away. Lookin’ at you, ladies.
Dr. Pepper Ten
I kinda think this is sneaky genius. It’s like reverse psychology. Like, when you see those old school cartoon characters set up a treehouse club with a sign that says “NO GIRLS ALLOWED”. You secretly want women all up in it to swipe that V-card. I guarantee there’s a group of gals out there who saw “not for women” and immediately ran to the store to buy a sixer.
I have to believe this product is solely for male strippers.
Meggings: Leggings For Men
While you’re at it, you should put Meg from Family Guy on a pair. Meg on Meggings. The men who wear meggings most likely use almost every other product on this list. Maybe it’s because they have a girlfriend and that girlfriend is sick and tired of him “borrowing” all her shit.
Manglaze: Nail Polish For Dudes
Look, I know Dave Navarro wear meggings and make up and nail polish and his penis has seen the inside of more women than all gynecologists combined, but I can’t have a product synonymous with semen on my fingers. I’m not pledging. I’m not getting hazed. Not again.
Gilco Men’s Pocky
Guys, it’s okay to eat chocolate snacks. Slapping “Men’s” in front of it makes it weird. If a woman eats it, will she sprout a spout down south?
Brogamats: Yoga Mats & Pads For Men
I have to admit some of these yoga bags are clever. The burrito bag is pretty boss. But, I just can’t feel right about pretending I’m a lumberjack or archer because I know how to downward dog. That thought causes a glitch in The Matrix.
Engineered to de-spunk your spandex.
Brogurt: Yogurt For Men
I might need to take a break from all yogurt after this.
If you’re gonna do this, you might as well go all the way and have the tea bags look like nutsacks.
For some reason, I feel like this would be like eating beef jerky. It just makes your jaw hurt like going down on a dame who just can’t ‘get there’.
Yorkie Bar: The Candy Bar For Guys
See what I mean? In that commercial, the woman’s like, “I HAVE to know what’s up with this candy for dudes”. If this chocolate monstrosity makes women barren, then yeah, throw a warning label on there, otherwise, I honestly don’t mind.
You want to have some fun? Google “mammoth milk”. You’re welcome.