Printable food. The future IS NOW thanks to a new invention called the Foodini.
No longer will you have to call a restaurant or god forbid, ugh, actually make a meal yourself. Now you can just plug in your Foodini and print out all the junk food you’ve every wanted.
The “Foodini,” as it’s called, isn’t too different from a regular 3D printer, but instead of printing with plastics, it deploys edible ingredients squeezed out of stainless steel capsules: “It’s the same technology,” says Lynette Kucsma, co-founder of Natural Machines, “but with plastics there’s just one melting point, whereas with food it’s different temperatures, consistencies and textures. Also, gravity works a little bit against us, as food doesn’t hold the shape as well as plastic.”
But you can still eat it, right? We don’t really care about the shape, we just want to be able to print out a pepperoni pie and grub.
In principle, the Foodini sounds like the ultimate laziness aid: press a button to print your ravioli. But Natural Machines is quick to point out that it’s designed to take care only of the difficult and time-consuming parts of food preparation that discourage people from cooking at home, and that it promotes healthy eating by requiring fresh ingredients prepared before printing.
Nevertheless, the company is working with major food manufacturers to create pre-packaged plastic capsules that can just be loaded into the machine to make food, even though they assure these will be free of preservatives, with a shelf life limited to five days.
I’m sorry, I didn’t get past “the Foodini sounds like the ultimate laziness aid” before my attention drifted to a new tab in my browser where I could search for just where I can buy this bad motherfucker and start chowing.
Currently, the device only prints the food, which must be then cooked as usual. But a future model will also cook the preparation and produce it ready to eat.
Dammit, got my hopes up for nothing. Call me when the food comes out of the printer piping hot and we’ve got a deal. Until then someone fucking create a flying car. Been waiting on that shit for years now.