Things We Want: The Mechanical Rhino From ‘Ace Ventura 2: Nature Calls’ Is Officially For Sale

Happy Friday, gentlemen. Welcome back to Things We Want.

Thank you to everyone who reached out after last week’s column. It’s always a blast hearing what gear you guys are digging right now. As a reminder, you can always hit me up at brandon@brobible.com with suggestions or just to talk shop.

Here’s a little recap of what’s been going on in my world for this week’s Things We Want.

I’m writing this a bit early because I’m heading to the LA Kings vs. New York Islanders game for Grateful Dead Night. If you know me, you know this is a “best of both worlds” situation. I’m crossing my fingers for one of those exclusive co-branded jerseys (the dancing bear logos on the shoulders are elite), but the real highlight is hitting the suite with the marketing team for Shoresy on Hulu. Grateful Dead cover bands, hockey lore, and talking about the best show on TV? The fire is burning in the best possible ways.

But the absolute highlight of my week—and a total full-circle moment for me personally—was sitting down with Jon Taffer from Bar Rescue. We’ve been supporting Jon here at BroBible since his very first season in 2011 back on Spike TV. To sit across from him as he enters his 10th season was an honor. He is exactly as sharp and insightful as you’d hope. We unpacked everything from his top five bar cities to the psychology of “shutting it down.” He even brought me a bottle of his Taffer’s Browned Butter Bourbon to the recording. I’m currently watching my intake as I prepare for wedding nuptials, but believe me, it will be imbibed and enjoyed very soon. You can catch that full interview over on the BroBible YouTube channel, or at the link below:

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Speaking of the wedding, I finally did the thing: I bought the suit. I headed over to Indochino at the Century City Mall, plopped down the credit card, and spent an hour dialling in the fit. I picked a color and material with a classy, summery vibe that’s perfect for June. We also just booked our entertainment… a sick hybrid band/DJ setup that I’m incredibly stoked about. Now, the only missing piece of the puzzle is the watch. I’m currently spiralling through watch forums trying to find the perfect heirloom piece to have on my wrist for the big day.

With so many first-time California visitors coming out for the wedding this summer, I’m really hoping they take advantage of how awesome this state is. I love this place, and I’m constantly telling people they need to spend a day at Universal Studios Hollywood. It’s just fun, man. I’m especially hyped because the timing works out perfectly for the opening of Fast & Furious: Hollywood Drift. Seeing a massive, high-speed outdoor coaster take over the hillside is going to be a game-changer for the park.

As you might recall from last week’s column, I also ran into my buddy Jimmy Tatro at the Genesis Invitational the other week. We go way back to the early BroBible days, and it was great to catch up on some mutuals and memories. Jimmy has been absolutely crushing it lately, and his new spot for Jimmy John’s is a hilarious throwback to the “Greek Life” persona that we all know and love. Plus, I’m seeing some killer footwear hitting my inbox this week—specifically a new drop from Mark “Gonz” Gonzales and adidas TERREX, and a pair of low-top hikers from Danner.

Between the G.D. hockey jerseys, bar rescue lore, and literally witnessing the birth of a pet detective from a mechanical rhino’s backside, the gear this week is all about those “holy grail” items and spring essentials. Let’s get into it.

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1. Planet Hollywood Collection: Ace Ventura’s (Jim Carrey) Screen-Matched Mechanical “Butt Birth” Rhino

If we’re talking about “Holy Grails” of 90s cinema, this is the absolute apex. We’ve all seen the clip a thousand times—Jim Carrey, covered in “afterbirth” (corn syrup), squeezing his way out of a mechanical rhinoceros while a horrified safari group looks on. It is, quite simply, the greatest prop in comedic history.

This 10-foot-long beast is currently up for auction via the Planet Hollywood Collection. It’s a screen-matched masterpiece, meaning you can see the exact bolt patterns and hole placements from the moment Ace made his grand exit. While the neck and legs have been restored with rigid styrofoam for display, the interior still features the padded chair, control dashboard, and—most importantly—the cooling fan that actually turns on when powered.

The estimate was a modest $4,000 – $8,000, but as of this writing, the bidding has already blown past that to $12,000. If you have a massive enough living room and the desire to own the most awkward conversation starter in human history, this is your moment.

TAP HERE TO Bid VIA PROP STORE AUCTION

2. High-Octane Drifting: Fast & Furious: Hollywood Drift (Universal Studios Hollywood)

 

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I’m calling it now: this is going to be the “must-ride” attraction of the summer. Universal just dropped more details on Fast & Furious: Hollywood Drift, and it’s officially set to be the fastest coaster in their entire portfolio, hitting speeds of 72 mph.

 

What makes this wild is the “drifting” technology. The ride vehicles actually rotate 360 degrees as you tear through 4,100 feet of track that winds right over the Starway escalator. They just unveiled the full fleet of ride vehicles, and they look incredible—you’ve got Dom’s 1970 Dodge Charger, Han’s Mazda RX-7 from Tokyo Drift, and Brian’s iconic blue Skyline and orange Supra. The loading station even features a massive, spray-painted mural by Tristan Eaton depicting that legendary street race from the first movie. It’s the ultimate love letter to the franchise.

TAP HERE TO LEARN MORE VIA Universal Studios Hollywood

3. A Tribute to the Trailblazers: Westhoff Pioneers Collection

If a mechanical rhino is a bit too “loud” for your living room, let’s pivot to something a little more refined for your dinner table. Joe Wagner and the team at Copper Cane just announced the Westhoff Pioneers Collection, and it’s exactly what I want to be pouring for a heavy steak night.

This isn’t just another wine launch; it’s a tribute to Joe’s ancestry, tracing back to the 19th Century in Westhoffen, France. There are three bottles in the collection:

• The “FRA” (France): A Rhône-style blend (Grenache, Syrah, Mourvèdre). Think dark cherries and herbs of Provence.
• The “ITA” (Italy): A heavy-hitting mix of Sagratino and Nero D’Avola. It’s vibrant, acidic, and tastes like plum and cocoa nibs.
• The “USA” (United States): A Sonoma-rooted blend of Zinfandel and Cab. It’s plush, rich, and screams for a tri-tip.

At $45-$50 a bottle, these are high-end enough to feel like a treat but accessible enough to become your new weekend staple.

TAP HERE TO LEARN MORE VIA QUILT AND CO

4. A Heritage Pour for March: McConnell’s 5 Year Old Irish Whisky

St. Patrick’s Day is creeping up fast, so it’s time to dial in the bar cart. I’m currently digging the vibe behind McConnell’s Irish Whisky. I’m relatively unfamiliar with the brand. Founded in 1776, it shares its birth year with the United States, which is a cool historical wink as we approach our own 250th anniversary.

The liquid is aged five years in first-fill bourbon casks and hits that sweet spot of 84 proof. It has a higher malt content than a lot of Irish blends, which gives it a layered sweetness and oaky finish that punches way above its $36.99 price tag.

TAP HERE LEARN MORE VIA MCCONNELL’S

5. Concrete to Dirt: adidas TERREX x Mark “Gonz” Gonzales Shmoofoil Skychaser GTX

OK, I freakin’ love this collab. I loved the last pair of adidas TERREXs I owned. It rocks that the three stripe has connected with Mark Gonzales—the “Gonz”, is an enduring New York City cultural legend who has influenced skateboarding for decades. His latest collaboration with adidas TERREX is a first-of-its-kind fusion of skate culture and technical outdoor performance.

The centerpiece is the Skychaser GTX, a fully technical hiking shoe equipped with GORE-TEX protection. What makes it special is the “Shmoofoil” branding—Gonz’s unmistakable hand-drawn universe—blended into a silhouette built for demanding terrain. At $170, it’s a rare piece of gear that performs without compromise while carrying the signature of a literal legend. But if I get a pair of these (they go on sale today, and probably will sell out quickly), I’m 100% wearing them… a lot.

TAP HERE to buy + LEARN MORE VIA ADIDAS

6. Built for the High Route: Danner MTN45

Danner just proved that you don’t have to sacrifice durability for all-day comfort. Their new MTN45 is a leather-bound, low-top hiker that borrows the best elements of a trail runner (wider toe box, 8mm drop) and wraps them in premium nubuck leather.

The secret sauce here is the EnduroFoam Plus midsole—a nitrogen-infused, premium foam that absorbs impact shock and rebounds quickly. Complemented by a Vibram® Megagrip outsole, these are as grippy as they are sturdy. Best of all? They are eligible for Danner’s recrafting services. At $220, it’s an investment in a piece of gear that will actually last.

TAP HERE TO BUY + LEARN MORE VIA DANNER

 

7. The Ultimate Caffeine Machine: Indian Roadmaster Elite x SeeSee Coffee Trike

I know I’ve been going heavy on Indian Motorcycle stuff lately, but the concept they just rolled out for Daytona Bike Week is too cool to ignore. Indian teamed up with Thor Drake and the crew at SeeSee Coffee to build a custom Roadmaster Elite Trike that features a fully integrated, fully operational espresso bar.

This trike uses a Roadsmith conversion kit to house a professional-grade setup that can pump out Americanos and espressos on the fly. Seeing Carey Hart pull a fresh shot of espresso off the back of a touring bike is exactly the kind of energy I need for the upcoming riding season. It’s a literal coffee shop on three wheels.

TAP HERE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT INDIAN MOTORCYCLES HERE

 

8. Jimmy John’s Goes Greek (feat. Jimmy Tatro)

Like I mentioned in the intro, I caught up with Jimmy Tatro recently, and seeing him lean back into his “Greek Life” roots for the new Jimmy John’s Gyro menu is pure gold. Jimmy plays a retired frat star who takes one bite of a gyro and is immediately catapulted back to his 2005 glory days.

The actual menu is a Mediterranean pivot for the brand, featuring a Greek Gyro (beef and lamb) and a Chicken Gyro, both served on warm pita with plenty of tzatziki. It’s a fun, nostalgic campaign that actually delivers on the flavors.

TAP HERE TO ORDER VIA JIMMY JOHN’S

9. Coastal Nostalgia: Sundown Terry Crewneck

As we transition into spring, I’m looking for layers that feel broken-in from the first wear. Enter the Sundown Terry Crewneck in Nautical Stripe. This thing is pure 1960s Cape Cod… super-soft, lightweight terry with a relaxed fit and drop shoulders.

It’s inspired by those breezy mornings by the water where you need a bit of warmth but don’t want the bulk of a heavy sweatshirt. At $98, it’s the perfect “preppy beach” piece to pair with some washed denim or your favorite hybrid shorts.

TAP HERE TO BUY VIA FAIR HARBOR

10. The Lost Art of the Meandering Catch-Up Lunch

This one isn’t a piece of gear, but it’s an experience we should all be making more time for.

I recently had a warm, meandering two-hour lunch with an old friend. In our hyper-scheduled, aggressively optimized world, the long lunch is becoming a lost art. I eat most of my lunches at home, alone, staring at my monitor and Slack. I’m a people person, so this has grated on me as time goes on.

It got me thinking about what actually makes a great catch-up session. I recently jotted these down on my Substack, but here is my anatomy of a perfect catch-up lunch:

1. Politely telling the waitstaff you haven’t looked at the menu yet because you’re so absorbed in the initial warmth of the reunion.
2. Finding the right balance of “remember when” nostalgia mixed with a healthy excitement for the future.
3. Asking about family.
4. Mulling over mutually beneficial opportunities.
5. Texting or emailing links to things that came up in the conversation as a follow-through for deeper discovery.
6. Making loose but noncommittal plans to do it again.

A reader over on Substack, Adam, actually replied to that note with a crucial seventh rule: Learn one new thing about each person to share with your partner. (For example, Adam shared a story about coaching his son’s basketball team where a kid suggested playing “shirts and skins” because they lost their pinnies. When Adam said no, the kid tied his shirt up and asked, “what about man-kinis?”). I fully agree with that addendum. Endearing interpersonal lore is important, guys.

Carve out time for the long lunch this spring.

TAP HERE TO BUY VIA FAIR HARBOR

11. Essential Reading: “The Last Days Of Analog Wonder”

I’m feeling a little thing-and-trinketed-out right now, and I’m not really finding the usual escapism that I usually find in splashy, aspirational things. If you even bothered to read this far, I think I’m dealing with a touch of the blues over how astronomical the prices of basic Los Angeles real estate have gotten. IDK. It happens.

So.. to close us out this week, a shameless plug for a passion project I’m rolling out on my Substack. This spring marks the 20th anniversary of the single greatest adventure of my life: my Semester at Sea voyage.

Back in the spring of 2006, I traded Pennsylvania for a 590-foot floating campus (MV Explorer) and spent 100 days circumnavigating the globe. I’ve been digging through my old travel blogs from the trip, and it made me realize how vastly different travel was before smartphones and social media. We didn’t have Google Maps to save us or Yelp to vet our dinners; we had dog-eared Lonely Planet guidebooks, sketchy internet cafes with sticky keyboards, and the absolute necessity of talking to strangers. We weren’t constantly curating our lives for an algorithmic feed. We traded in the currency of wonder.

To celebrate the anniversary, I’m publishing a special four-part series on my Substack every Sunday this March called The Last Days Of Analog Wonder. It’s a look back at pre-social media travel, feral port experiences, and the sheer, hair-on-fire energy of being 20 years old and cracking the world open. Part 1 is live right now.

TAP HERE TO READ + SUBSCRIBE ON SUBSTACK

Have a wonderful weekend, and see you next Friday.