I’ve Lost Remote Controls In Shallower Cracks Than The Cleavage Emily Ratajkowski Is Sportin In This New Insta Pic

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAMYcFIy2a-/

Yo, bros–if you’re looking for the illusive pizza crust that went missing when you were blacked out, if may be deep in the depths of Emily Ratajkowski’s cleav. You dig around in there thorough enough, you may be able to scrounge up enough change to buy dinner tonight. But real talk, if Steven Avery REALLY committed the murder, why wouldn’t he just play it safe and bury it in Emily’s boobie rift?? Answer that Ken Kratz, ya shady fuck!! Oh, it’s because Avery has an IQ of -4. Ok, point well taken.

BOOBIE BONUS ROUND: RAPID FIRE!

https://www.instagram.com/p/-9VbmDy2V0/


https://www.instagram.com/p/7gURxjy2eW/

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.