Full House’s D.J. Tanner Has An 18-Year-Old Daughter So Someone Check Me Into A Nursing Home

Nothing gets me down like a figure from my childhood moving on and living a fulfilling life while I perpetually struggle to stay afloat. I see a lot of myself in Gladstone–the dude was completely content with being a lifelong nobody who overused jokes and could never get a girlfriend because he could never afford his own place. Hate to break it to you, Joey, but your signature phrase, ‘Cut. It. Out,’ is what Danny Tanner’s been trying to do to you for a decade but he just doesn’t have a beanbag inside those dad jeans to toss you on the street. Tough love, bro.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the hostility. I’m just a bit unsettled now, seeing as Candace Cameron aka DJ Tanner is 40-years-old and has an 18-year-old daughter with her husband and former NHL player Valeri Bure. The book of my adolescence when I was planning on riding this out for 29 years.

Here’s Candance’s daughter, Natasha :





How old I feel right now:

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.