Remember Mary Swanson From ‘Dumb And Dumber’? This Is What She Looks Like Today.

When was the last time you checked up on the Mary Samsonite–the direct source of so many childhood boners? Let me guess, you never have. Once the internet came out and we didn’t have to use our imaginations anymore, you up and left all your childhood VHS crushes. Wendy Peffercorn? Bye. Becky O’Shea from Little Giants? Peace. You even shafted Kelly Kapowski. How could you. Oh you got a Brazzers password? Makes sense. Carry on.

If you want to take a trip down Nostalgia Drive, it’s been 22 years since Dumb and Dumber came out and Mary Simmy-sammy-swanny-SAMSONITE stole our young, impressionable hearts with her fiery red hair, full red lips, and a divine jawline. The actress who played Mary, Lauren Holly, is now 52-years-old and looks like a totally different person. She’s still got her famed red hair, but her facial structure is not how I would have imagined. She looks like Reba McIntyre. That country singer lady. I don’t know, tell me if I’m high again.

I also dug into her Instagram to see if I could land some beach pics, but she is very family-oriented. Which is wonderful. For her.

That one cheek meant so much to my childhood.

P.S. Did you know she was married to Jim Carrey from 1996-1997? I did not. But she was.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.