Mia Khalifa Bribed ‘NBA 2K18’ With A Tempting Offer To Raise Her Crush John Wall’s Rating


We’ve progressed to a point with social media where we know our favorite athletes too well. The reason Jordan is so lauded–besides being the greatest to ever live–is because there was a certain mystique to him. We never saw him dancing in the weight room in the offseason, or firing off a salacious DM to an Instagram model, or bitching about his fucking video game ranking. But, it’s 2017 and when the NBA 2K rankings hit, every player believes he should be rated higher, and they aren’t shy in publicizing it.

John Wall is no different. The 4-time NBA All-Star was ranked 90 in 2K, the same rating as fellow point guard Kyrie Irving. John Wall wasn’t happy.

And when John Wall’s not happy, his biggest fangirl isn’t either. Mia Khalifa has long thirsted after the 26-year-old point guard. It’s evident in just one cursory look at her Instagram that her love for Wall runs deep. So, in these trying times of need, Mia did God’s work by offering up the powers behind 2K an offer they can’t refuse refused.

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Mia, how bout your offer them up to me and we can just pretend he’s a 93? Hit me up in the DMs.

[h/t Total Pro Sports]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.