People Revealed The Preconceptions About Sex They Once Had That Were Completely Wrong

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When I was a kid, I used to think a condom was a letter that each sexual partner signs to indicate that they’ve had sex. Later, I learned that a condom was a dick balloon that turns an otherwise euphoric experience into an uphill battle in staying erect. Kids growing up these days have the greatest sexual education tool of all–the internet. I had to learn the hard way–through movies like American Pie and that hardcore VHS I stole from my uncle’s place.

Redditor happyasgary posed the question: What preconceptions about sex did you once have which were completely wrong? Here are the juiciest answers.

wackomarty:

When I first discovered masturbating. I thought I invented it.


5adie5axton:

When I first started masturbating I was never very interested in penetrating myself because it never felt that good compared to rubbing my clit, so I assumed that sex would be the guy putting his wiener between my labia like a hotdog in a bun and just moving back and forth- only ever penetrating me if we intended to make a baby. The hotdog bun thing did turn out to be pretty fun foreplay, though.


_dolorous_edd:

Maybe not exactly what you were looking for but when I was a kid I thought that oral sex meant people talking nasty to each other. I wasn’t 100% convinced though.


Burnd1t:

I thought that you just put your penis in, had an orgasm, then pulled it out. Like the vajayjay is some magical hole that makes you cum instantly…

Turns out I was right.


cricketfluffernutter:

I thought each testicle held one sperm and that was all you’d ever get. First time I masturbated I realized with horror I could only have one kid. Then of course I did it again the following night and concluded I was doomed never to have kids.


Tr0ncatlady:

I used to think a blowjob consisted of breathing heavily over someone’s dick. Thankfully I watched porn before I gave my first blowjob.


pureum:

I didn’t realize if a guy cums in you it would come right back out. I guess I always just thought the baby juice would get magically absorbed by the vajay. In a weird way I felt like I had to give birth to his jizz.


Bexamous92:

I always thought that an erect penis was super rigid and would stick straight out away from the man’s body no matter what. I spent ages agonising over how the missionary position could work.

The first time I gave a handjob and realised that an erect penis could actually move around to different angles, everything suddenly made SO MUCH sense.


GeeeThree:

It’s easy for you and your partner to climax at the same time. What a sick joke


boycarino:

I thought butt fucking was mashing your butt up again at someone else’s butt. It isn’t.


[h/t Reddit]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.