Someone Has A Taylor Swift And Calvin Harris Nude Photo And He’s Trying To Sell It To The Highest Bidder
Boy oh boy do I hope this happens, not because I have some burning desire to see T-Swizzurp’s crotch in all it’s untamed glory, but because it hopefully means that the circlejerk that is Taylor Swift’s career might finally start dying down. I’m not saying I’m hoping she crashes and burns – but, y’know, opening up my web browser and not being bombarded with fucking Taylor Swift concert recaps and shit would be nice. I’d ask for this to happen with the Kardashians, but we all know the chances of that are slim and you know what I’ll take what I can get.
Plus…the Kardashians are unabashedly themselves. Swift is nothing more than a carefully managed pop star whose publicist deserves a raise for somehow conning the entire world into thinking Taylor’s shit don’t stank. Everyone’s shit stanks, and I don’t like it when people pretend it doesn’t.
But anyways, onto the possibility of Taylor nudes!
…a source close to the star’s inner circle is threatening to tarnish her squeaky-clean reputation — by selling a sexy photo of Swift with her boyfriend, Calvin Harris!
Maybe Radar meant steamy in the literal way, as in Swift and Harris are chilling in a sauna together. Or maybe they meant steamy metaphorically and the two are mid-coitus in the photo. Or MAYBE they’re boning in a sauna, with Swift going to town on Harris’ butthole with a strap-on because there’s no way in hell she doesn’t wear the pants in that relationship.
Regardless of whether Harris likes getting his stools pushed in, it’s only a matter of time until Swift’s inevitable and definite demise.