Shout Out To Tommy Lee For Canoodling With Former Vine Star Brittany Furlan, Who Is 24 Years Younger

Ah, Tommy Lee. How intimately I’m familiar with you. The last time we met, the summer of 2002, I waited for my parents to leave for work, and cued up a video of you and your ex-girlfriend there, uh, what was her name…ah yes PAM ANDERSON! You two seemed to be having outrageous fun on the boat, but I think you owe me an apology for giving me a penis-size complex for the next decade. Real cool bro. I’m surprised that thing didn’t sink the fucking ship.

Well my friend, you’ve had a pretty good life thus far. Not only did you drum you tits off for Mötley Crüe, you’ve also had three wives that were pretty prettaayy attractive: Model Elaine Bergen (1984-1985), Heather Locklear (1986-1993), and Pam Anderson (1995-1998). Not a bad tripod if you ask me. And no I’m not talking about your two legs and ding a ling.

But, Tommy is now 54-years-old and some would say at the twilight of his glory days. I certainly would not. Tommy was seen canoodling with 30 year old former Vine star Brittany Furlan, the most followed female video star on social media app Vine back in 2015. She’s got personality. And she’s hot.

https://twitter.com/zesty_cali/status/877891287524941825

Did I mention she was hot?

Good on you, Tommy.

[h/t Daily Mail]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.