Spoiler: You’re not ready. No one on Earth can be. If I told you that former child star Corey Feldman is working on an as-yet untitled music project that will feature collaborations with Fred Durst, how would you respond? Probably by cocking your gun and telling me to run as fast as I can. But it’s true, friends, and the Feldmeister has dropped the first single and video (thankfully Durstless), titled “Ascension Millennium.” It’s a time capsule of everything awful in music in 2013 – lame beats, autotuned vocals, and idiotic lyrics. The only thing it’s missing is a dubstep break. On the positive side, there are two sort of hot chicks in it, so maybe that’ll work for you.