The minute Richard Branson figures out this whole “live on another planet” thing I’m punching my ticket out.
It’s bad enough I live in a world surrounded by men with normal beards. I don’t want to live in a world where men are putting flowers in their beards. But it’s happening. Right now, it’s contained to places I’d never be caught dead.
If you haven’t been to a music festival, seen a Lana Del Rey music video, or walked by a Forever 21 in the past year, then you might have missed the ‘flower crown’ trend that’s spread to far corners of the universe. Typically paired with a high-waisted jean short and a crop top (cc: Coachella), the crowns appear to have confused their wear-ers into thinking they are forest nymphs sent from a Shakespearean-play. #Basic is an understatement.
Alright, someone keep all these dudes in one central location. I’ll notify the proper people. We’ll get this contained and squashed all at once. I’ll take full responsibility.
Good luck getting me extradited from another solar system!