September 19th is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and Krispy Kreme wants to see you dress the part. They’re offering a free doughnut or a full dozen depending on how dedicated to the fictional holiday you are.
Talking like a pirate to a Krispy Kreme employee on Sept. 19th will earn you one free doughnut. I’d recommend telling them a pirate joke too. That won’t get you anything extra, but if it’s good it might at least entertain the employee on what’s certain to be the most annoying day of the year.
We’re less than two months away from Halloween though, so this might be the perfect excuse to dress as a pirate this year. If you come in wearing full regalia, you’ll walk out with a free dozen doughnuts. It seems like a no brainer if you live anywhere near a Krispy Kreme store.
Unlike Chipotle on Halloween, you can’t just show up with a piece of tin foil on your shoulder and claim you’re a burrito. You must wear at least three qualifying piece of pirate garb. The eligible items are:
- Eye Patch
- Pirate Hat
- Peg Leg
- Parrot on Shoulder
- Pirate Shirt / Loose white shirt
- Leather Belt
- Silver and gold necklaces and earrings
- Pirate Hook
- Pointy black boots or ragged brown sandals
Krispy Kreme made a point of saying “no weapons allowed,” so don’t carry that sword you bought from a late-night infomercial when you were drunk. It wasn’t cool then, and it’s certainly not cool in a public place filled with pirates.
I’d like to thank Krispy Kreme for giving me this excuse to post the ultimate pirate song, “The Worst Pirate” by Ceann. Fun fact: girls are terrible pirates.