Justin Bieber vs. The Black Keys is happening

Justin Bieber

Ryan Seacrest

I know who my money’s on. Justin Bieber isn’t a guy who gets into a lot of celebrity feuds, mainly because he’s eleven years old and has probably never been in a fight in his life. But as testosterone starts surging through his young body, the Biebs is getting itchy to play his man card, and he just laid some smack down on somebody way outside of his weight class.

It started a few days ago after the Grammys when TMZ caught up with Patrick Carney, the drummer of the Black Keys, and asked him if he felt bad for Justin Bieber because he was snubbed at the awards. Where do these guys come up with this stuff? Anyways, Carney took the bait, because he’s not the kind of dude who lets managers and PR people talk for him, and responded “He’s rich, right? Grammys are for, like, music, not for money… and he’s making a lot of money. He should be happy.”

The Biebs, needless to say, wasn’t too happy about those comments, and he did exactly what you’d expect: he took to Twitter, posting “the black keys drummer should be slapped around haha”

Of course, his fans took this as a call to war, and they immediately began bombarding Carney’s twitter account with insults and threats of violence. He took it in pretty good stride, considering – I don’t know how well I’d do if 10,000 people told me to die all at once.

I don’t know if you’ve seen pictures of Patrick Carney, but that guy’s a Sasquatch. He could probably palm Justin Bieber’s head like an apple. If this feud escalates any further, I think the odds are against Justin in a slapfight. Please, Lord, let this feud escalate further. I need some blood for the blood god.