The NFL hates you, wants you to leave your bags at home

The NFL in their infinite wisdom has banned purses, bags and pretty much anything larger than your hand from games. The moves comes as the league focuses more on making games “a secure environment.” Nevermind the super drunk fella challenging everyone in his section to a fight. He doesn’t have a bag, leave him alone.

There are a few exceptions to the new bag rule.

You can bring a clear Ziploc freezer bag no bigger than 12″ x 6″ x 12,”. That should be awesome for the ladies right? Nothing says style more than your Tampax out there for the world to see. Hey everyone, Lizzie’s on her period, she’s bleeding from her vagina, hooray!

Here’s the prohibited item list:

“…purses larger than a clutch bag, coolers, briefcases, backpacks, fanny packs, cinch bags, seat cushions, luggage of any kind, computer bags and camera bags or any bag larger than the permissible size,”

Dammit, no fanny pack? What is this? I thought this was America!