University of Oklahoma turns itself in to NCAA for ‘eating too much pasta’

Man eating pasta image by Shutterstock

 

Ryan Aber, a columnist for The Oklahoman, made an open-records request for the self-reported secondary NCAA violations. These are sins against the association but not really sins. They’re kind of like the generalized or fake sins you admitted during confession so it felt like you’d fessed up enough and possibly fake out the priest.

The violations included butt-dialing a recruit, unauthorized Facebook responding to recruits and pasta. Lots and lots of pasta.

Three current student-athletes received food in excess of NCAA regulation at a graduation banquet. The three had graduated from the school but returned for an additional season of competition. The players were provided pasta in excess of the permissible amount allowed.

HOLY MACARONI! Too much rigatoni is almost as detrimental to the program as point shaving.

Obviously, the players had to be punished. Each made a donation of $3.83 sense to a charity of their choice. That’s less than a can of Chef Boyardee.