9 popular movies and what to say about them to sound smart

So you’re hanging out with friends and someone brings up a popular movie that you haven’t seen. What do you do? Well, you could do the honest thing and just tell everyone that you haven’t seen it or you could do the good old fashioned American thing and lie your ass off. And that’s where we come in. We’re here to give you the easy sound bites you need to not only convince your friends that you’ve seen the movie, but that you’re a goddamn expert. Sure, you might sound a little pretentious, but isn’t that what life is all about, pretending that you’re smarter than all of your friends? Yes. Yes, it is. And so without further ado, here are nine popular movies and what you can say about them if you want to sound smart.

Photo credit: YouTube/Paramount Pictures

9 ‘The Godfather’

What to Say: “I think that The Godfather is actually about America, about the dark bargains we make in order to both become more powerful than everybody else and to protect our loved ones. It is this interplay between power and our primal desire to take care of our families that drives the film thematically. On the one hand, we seek this power in order to have the means to insulate ourselves from the madness of the rest of the world. On the other, it is this very acquisition of power that then makes us a target for those who seek that power for themselves. It is both tragic and enlightening. Also, it was awesome when Sonny beat the shit out of that one dude with a trash can and that Italian chick that Michael was banging was pretty hot. She showed her boobs, you know.”

Photo credit: YouTube/Paramount Pictures

8 ‘Inception’

What to Say: “I think the film worked well on two levels. First, it was obviously an action packed thriller, an edge of your seat thrill-ride that you can’t take your eyes off of, but second, and more importantly, it was a treatise on the nature of reality, on the constructs we create for ourselves, both on a conscious and a subconscious level, just so we can get through the day. Guilt and love are both powerful motivators, as is man’s desire for self-preservation. In the end, I think we can all agree that… holy shit, did the top stop spinning? Did the top stop spinning???”

Photo credit: YouTube/Warner Bros. Pictures

7 ‘American Beauty’

What to Say: “The film casts light on Suburbia in a way that had never really been done before, calling into question the meaning of a life that most people not only take for granted but also actively strive for. In the end, the floating plastic bag represents the subtle beauty that lies all around us, mostly going ignored, while we strive for meaningless trinkets. Also, I sniff my own farts.”

Photo credit: YouTube/DreamWorks

6 ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’

What to Say: “A hypnotic meditation on man’s place in the universe, 2001: A Space Odyssey totally changed the way film-makers approached the narrative structure. It opened up film-making to those willing to experiment in their storytelling, and helped usher in the age of the auteur. Also, I hear that if you get baked and watch it while listening to David Bowie, Hal the Computer will talk to you through your TV and tell you the meaning of life. But be careful because my cousin Frank did this and he ended up cutting off his ears and running naked through the neighborhood. I heard he ate some bad acid though so who knows?”

Photo credit: YouTube/MGM

5 ‘The Matrix’

What to Say: “The Matrix really spoke to me about the nature of free thought and how we perceive both our environment and ourselves within it. And the special effects forever changed the way movies look. I walked around for six weeks after I saw it wearing a trench coat and those sunglasses Morpheus wore until I finally realized that I had been unwittingly joined an S&M leather fetish club. Why oh why didn’t I take the blue pill? Wait, where are you all going?”

Photo credit: YouTube/Warner Bros. Pictures

4 ‘Taxi Driver’

What to Say: “I thought the film was a harrowing look at the nature of alienation and paranoia in an out of control society, exploring what can happen to the human mind when a person feels powerless. The anger and self-delusion that afflicted Travis Bickle as a result was both terrifying and riveting. It was easily one of DeNiro’s top five performances. I mean, come on, are you lookin’ at me? You know, like the line from the movie? Because his character said that? And now I’m saying it which means that I totally saw the movie you guys.”

Photo credit: YouTube/Columbia Pictures

3 ‘Blade Runner’

What to Say: “I love Blade Runner for a few reasons. First, its message was deeper than the average science fiction film, a meditation on the nature of the soul and the ethical dilemmas created by notions of progress. Second, the film completely redefined the way that filmmakers approached the genre, almost single-handedly creating a dystopian image of the future that became the template for countless science fiction films to come. And third, Blade Runner’s hypnotic, almost dream-like tone and slow, languid pacing created a unique viewing experience that made me feel as if I were immersed in another world, and really isn’t that what film-making is all about? Also, it takes a few viewings to really take it all in. I mean, I actually fell asleep the first two times I tried to watch it…”

Photo credit: YouTube/Warner Bros. Pictures

2 ‘The Dark Knight’

What to Say: “Heath Ledger’s Joker is one of the most iconic performances of all time, and serves as the heart of this masterpiece that transcends the superhero genre and stands as a true statement on the state of the world today. I found the parallels between Batman and Obama to be quite interesting. After all, where does one draw the line between respecting absolute freedom and doing the ugly things that are necessary to keep society safe? Is Batman actually a fascist? What exactly do he and Alfred do all alone together in that giant mansion? Do you think they have weird sex parties in that cave below their crib? So many questions…”

Photo credit: YouTube/Warner Bros. Pictures

1 ‘Citizen Kane’

What to Say: “Citizen Kane was one of the first attempts to really dig into the heart of the American Dream. Much like Gatsby or even Mad Men’s Don Draper, the main character serves as an icon for the chimeric godlike figures who represent both the pinnacle of American perceptions of success and the dark side of the loneliness and need for human contact that are the price to be paid for such success. The film serves as one of the prime examples of an archetype of American fiction and for my money remains the greatest film of all time. I especially liked it when Kane chokeslammed the Undertaker and made the ring posts explode with fire. Also, Rosebud was the name of his fucking sled.”

Photo credit: YouTube/RKO Radio Pictures