Since you like to hang out at Guyism, I can only assume that you’re already a genius. And so you already know that geniuses tend to struggle with some of the more mundane mortal tasks. Yes, these are the things that most of us take for granted, but which cause geniuses an endless amount of misery and torment. And just in case you’re not a genius and wonder just exactly how their weird brains really work, consider this a glimpse into the twisted inner life of the genius and marvel at these eight simple everyday things that geniuses struggle with.
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Sure, lots of people struggle with school. After all, it’s hard to concentrate when your hormones are directing Russ Meyer movies in your head or if you’re just, you know, dumb. But school seems like it was made for geniuses, right? Well oddly enough, many geniuses flat out suck when it comes to the scholastic life – Einstein famously flunked out and we all know at least one super smart dude whose grades inexplicably resembled a Playmate’s cup size, and I’m talking post-enhancement. This may seem strange, but consider for a moment how boring school must be for these dudes and lady dudes. I mean, think how boring it was for you and then imagine that you knew more than all your teachers and had to sit there all day listening to them drone on about something you understood when you were four years-old, like how to not eat Play-Doh or how to not piss yourself. That sounds kind of like a nightmare, right? Well, that’s kind of what school is like for geniuses.
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7 Playing by Rules
We naturally live our lives by a commonly accepted set of rules. They’re not even things we think about. We just follow them because, well, that’s just the way it is and it’s easier that way. But if you’ve ever met a genius then you know that they think about everything and that means that they inevitably question a lot of the things most people take for granted. The result is that it’s hard for them to live within the same social constructs as the rest of us. It simply doesn’t make sense to them, and what’s more they often end up resenting that they’re supposed to. It’s not that they don’t have common sense, it’s that they’ve thought about it and decided that common sense is dumb. And that’s why your weird cousin with the 190 IQ wore shorts to your wedding.
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6 Meeting People
Countless studies have shown that there is a fairly heavy correlation between genius and autism and many, many other social and behavioral disorders. Whether this is a pure accident of chemistry or whether it’s due to our own biases of what’s “normal,” the end result is that a lot of geniuses have trouble dealing with people, and especially with meeting them. Now I’m not talking some Big Bang Theory clichéd foot-in-mouth nonsense, where the genius just wants to talk in Klingon all day. What I’m talking about is a genuine inability to even initiate contact with another human being. My theory is that geniuses have an internal life – and internal monologue – that paralyzes them. In short, they think too goddamn much. That makes it really easy to psyche yourself out and when that happens suddenly meeting people for them is as difficult as rocket science is for the rest of the world.
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5 Small Talk
Even if they do manage to meet people without much of a problem, it’s hard for many geniuses to get any further than that because they suck at making small talk. You probably don’t realize it, but a huge chunk of your daily interaction with people involves meaningless banter that you just participate in without really thinking about it. How’s the weather, nice day we’re having, that’s a nice ass you’ve got there… you know, the usual. It’s easy and it’s comfortable and you don’t have to think twice about it. But that’s just the thing – geniuses love to think twice about it and then they like to think about it a third time and then a fourth time and then… you get the point. And really, once you think about all those idiotic, meaningless small-talk topics and phrases that we all use to get by it’s hard not to see them as completely ridiculous. Geniuses suck at making small talk because they simply can’t see the point. Small talk is lubrication for social convention and as we’ve already seen, geniuses don’t care much for social convention.
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It’s kind of hard to land a decent job when you have no idea how to talk to people on their level, no matter how smart you are. A lot of geniuses can’t even make it through the interview process because they say weird shit and refuse to play along with the games we all accept as part of that whole deal. They’ll answer honestly and often brutally and hey, guess what? People don’t really like that. And then if they do get a decent job, there’s still the whole playing nice with others thing, which is kind of hard to do when you think everyone’s an idiot – I mean, a person on the low-end of the genius scale has a 140 IQ which is 40 points higher than average. Imagine going to work every day and trying to deal with people with 60 IQs. You’d go nuts, right? Well, that’s what it’s like for geniuses. To them, all their coworkers and their bosses are Forrest Gump.
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3 Fitting in a 9 to 5 World
When you spend so much time questioning the rules of society, it tends to have a domino effect on the rest of your life. Suddenly, you can’t understand why you need to arbitrarily be at the office from nine to five – especially since you’re so smart that you can probably get your work done in like a half an hour. Next, you wonder why you should go to sleep just because the sun goes down – studies have shown that geniuses are statistically more likely to be night owls, and some have theorized that this is because with the advent of electricity, the need to sleep when the sun goes down and wake when it comes up – inherent in humanity for millennia – is no longer applicable, and the genius mind makes that intuitive leap where others don’t and so they naturally rebel against the socially accepted sleeping patterns and biorhythms. Their bodies literally change to accommodate these intuitive leaps that the rest of us simply don’t make. Either that or they’re on drugs.
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2 Not Trying to Kill Superman
Jesus, Lex, give it a rest already.
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1 Not Being Completely Friggin’ Nuts
Take everything else on this list – the inability to play by rules, the high incidence of mental instability and behavioral disorder, the social alienation and inability to fit into the world’s standards for normality, and it becomes easy to see why so many things in everyday life are a surprising struggle for a lot of geniuses and why the phrase “a fine line between genius and insanity” is so well known. It’s got to drive geniuses completely insane to have to live in a world designed by people who seem literally retarded to them. There must be times when it seems like hell. Again, imagine being 40, 50, 60 IQ points smarter than everybody else. Of course you’d end up going nuts. It’s a real problem for me… I mean, for them.
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