Today I Learned That Being A Wizard With A Slinky Is Guaranteed To Protect Your Virginity For Life

If ever you’re in a bind and need to keep a virginity in tact, just break out the slinky. After watching this video of a slinky wizard bust out his slinkiest tricks I’m not convinced that the key to properly preserving a virginity is a healthy dose of slinky.

It’s almost as if that slinky is a forcefield extension of his virginity. With each toss, slink, and throw that forcefield of virginity remains firmly intact. That slinky is basically kryptonite to any libido within 100-yards of it.

All that said, this dude’s got MAD SKILLS with the slinky and if I was at a festival and feeling pretty good, I’d probably sit there and watch him toss that slinky around for a baker’s dozen of minutes.



Burger King Accidentally Posts Guy’s Phone Number On Their Website, He Proceeds To Troll The Shit Out Of Employees

50 Of The Funniest Photos On The Internet (Must See Imagery)