The Tampa Bay Bucs unveiled some horrific new uniforms

The Bucs revealed their uniform for the 2014 season and it’s like a manage a trois of arena league, CFL, and University of Maryland.

From their press release:

“Today marks the culmination of more than two years of research and planning to bring the Tampa Bay Buccaneers into a new and exciting era of our history,” said Buccaneers co-chairman Edward Glazer. “We worked closely with our partners at Nike to design a uniform that would set the standard for both design and functionality. The result is a sleek, modern design that honors our championship past while also establishing a new, bolder identity moving forward.”

The base uniform color has been energized with richer pewter, juxtaposed with a brighter, more vibrant shade of “Buccaneer Red”. In homage to the Buccaneers’ early uniforms, the look also features “Bay Orange” as a new primary trim color and accent on both the jersey and the pants. Tampa Bay also becomes the first NFL franchise to incorporate a revolutionary reflective chrome border around the numbers on the front, back and shoulders. The chrome border incorporates a technologically advanced reflective coating that adds a new dimension, increased readability and a unique glow to the numbers.

Listen, I don’t know anything about fashion. I work in boxers all day. But this sucks bad. This sucks hard. The orange trim looks dumb. The helmet logo is too big.

Can we stop the madness please? Sometimes simple is good, sometimes simple is effective.

And now, kindly, get off my lawn.

Photo via Tampa Bay Bucs