It’s just the summer of the gator out in these streets. Everytime I turn around, a gator has swallowed up another human being. If anything, I feel like we should be placing much more blame on the shoulders of humanity. Watch where you’re stepping. It’s not that hard to avoid stepping into the waiting jaws of a hungry gator.
The latest gator attack comes to us from South Carolina, where an old woman was tragically attacked by one after falling into a pond where it was residing.
“A 90-year-old woman who had vanished from her assisted living facility was found dead in a nearby pond after being killed by an alligator attack, authorities said. Bonnie Walker was reported missing on Wednesday morning before being found dead three hours later in a retention pond behind the Brookdale Senior Living Facility, where she was a resident.
The Charleston County Coroner’s Office ruled that Walker’s death was accidental and caused by “multiple sharp and blunt force injuries,” according to WBTW News 13. It is likely that Walker slipped, fell down a steep embankment, and landed in the water, attracting the attention of the alligator, who was removed from the pond on Friday. The Department of Natural Resources believes this is the first alligator related fatality in South Carolina’s entire history.
Alligators have been wreaking havoc in recent months, with this death coming on the heels of a deadly June alligator attack of a two-year-old boy at Disney World.”
I mean that’s just fucking horrible. If I was a lesser person, this is where I’d insert a joke that somehow included a reference to the song ‘Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer’ but instead involved alligators, but I’m not that kind of person. I’ll leave that to the professionals. Really, this is why I’m all about that homecare life. Don’t go sticking grandma in nursing home if she doesn’t want to be there. She’ll be running away and getting eaten by gators. Grandma can’t try and run back home if she is home. Plus, alligators hate old people’s homes. It’s like a deterrent. I read that somewhere.