I’d never watched an episode of The Bachelorette prior to this season, but after hearing that Aaron Rodgers’ younger brother, Jordan, was on the show, stirring up shit and getting called out for cheating on his ex-girlfriend on Instagram, well, you can see my dilemma: watch some grade-A douchebags try to win over a chick’s heart, or…not.
So I started watching. And goddamn is this show awful.
None of these dudes even KNOW Jojo, and yet come episode one they’re all lining up to suck her clit left and right; “Jojo is amazing!” “Jojo is perfect” “Jojo is my future wife!” says all these dudes who’ve spoken a maximum of three words to her, “I can’t believe she’s standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!”
Except for Jordan Rodgers. That guy? Nah. Too cool to suck ass like the rest of them; throughout the season he instead chose to use a mix of lies, cunning, and a weird cockatoo haircut I’ve never actually seen anyone in the real world sporting…
…to woo Jojo.
Now that he’s in the final two (and probably going to win, as watching that smirk he’s always got on his face come crashing down on national television would be too good to be true) he’s really been pushing the “Aaron Rodgers abandoned our family for fame” gimmick, especially when Jojo came home to meet his family. Ironic, considering the guy is 100% only on the show for fame. And during an interview with ABC affiliate WISN in Milwaukee, Aaron basically confirmed as much: that Jordan is pretty much there for attention:
“I haven’t seen the show, to be honest with you, so it hasn’t really affected me a whole lot,” the Super Bowl MVP said when asked about it by WISN 12 Sports’ Stephanie Sutton after Tuesday’s training camp.
Jordan Rodgers is one of two final contestants on the show who are trying to woo real estate developer JoJo Fletcher. In an episode earlier this month, he dropped a bombshell by describing his relationship with his more famous brother as “complicated.”
Aaron Rodgers declined to elaborate Tuesday on the nature of the relationship.
“As far as those kinds of things go, I’ve always found that it’s a little inappropriate to talk publicly about some family matters, so I’m just — I’m not going to speak on those things, but I wish him well in the competition,” he said.
Yeah, dirty laundry is made for hiding and washing, not to string up on the clothesline in the front yard that is The Bachelorette. Also, “I wish him well in the competition” may as well be code for “LOL BRO, YOU’RE ON THE BACHELORETTE – GET REAL.”
We won’t find out if Jordan Rodgers won until the August 1st finale, but I’m willing to put money on it – dickbags always come first.