Need An Excuse To Skip The Club? Science Says This Age Is Officially Too Old For The Nightclub

Night at the Roxbury


First off, you should never need an excuse to skip the club. If clubbing isn’t your thing and, like myself, you prefer dive bars with black mold on the ceiling and beer lines that haven’t been cleaned in 10 years then just speak your mind. Your bros can’t give you shit for thinking clubs are lame because everyone is entitled to their opinions, or something like that.

Moving on, the fact that you think you need an excuse to skip the club might indicate that you’re getting older, and scientists have determined that there’s a specific age you hit that makes you ‘too old’ for night clubs. We’re not talking about ‘too old’ like that 55-year-old guy going through a divorce who is now looking for a sugar baby but looks like a complete dickhead in the club wearing his Ed Hardy t-shirt.

The age? 37 years old. Once you hit 37 you are officially too old for night clubs…But the hatred of nightclubs starts a lot earlier, according to the Yorkshire Evening Post:

And according to the respondents, 37 is the age it becomes tragic to go to nightclubs, with 31 emerging as the age we officially prefer staying in to going out.
Three in ten of the adults polled said a perfect night-in would be devouring a boxset and nearly a quarter like to spend an evening in whiling away the time on social media the poll found. Eight in ten adults polled said they feel relieved when having a night in and they see friends posting pictures on social media of raucous, boozy gatherings.

At first I wanted to call ‘bullshit’ on 31 being the age that people prefer to stay in instead of going out, but then I realized that’s around the age that everyone I know seems to get married these days and married people tend to stay in and be boring AF, so I’ll accept those findings. As for the age 37 being the cut off for hitting the club? 65-year-old Dan Bilzerian probably thinks otherwise. Or maybe it’s just his heart that’s 65-years-old with the rest of his body 36. (h/t Unilad)

Cass Anderson avatar
Cass Anderson is Editor-in-Chief of BroBible. He graduated from Florida State University, has been to more Phish concerts than he’d like to admit, and primarily specializes in Outdoor, Gear, and Whiskey-related content.