Ever Wonder What An Al-Qaeda Job Application Looks Like? Neither Have I, But Here It Is!

by 4 years ago
New Tape Shows Al Qaeda Celebrating Victory In 1999

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Having a little trouble finding that illusive job post-college? Didn’t hear back from the accounting firm? Yearning for the opportunity to travel and be a part of a team environment? Do you work best when you have a gun to your head? Well then come join al-Qaeda, LLC. Al-Qaeda is an equal opportunity employee, except for women, Americans, or anyone unwilling to take a grenade to the face in the name of its God. Inquire below!

The U.S. government recently released numerous documents that were obtained from Osama Bin Laden’s compound in Abbottabad, including troves of porn (that the government refuses to release) and a job application for terrorist group, al-Qaeda. The document was made public by the Office of the Director of National Intelligence and is a mix of corporate and flat-out bizarre.

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My favorite part of the entire application was the middle of page 3 when they try to small talk you before hitting you with the hammer on the next question.

“Did you encounter any difficulties on the road to this place?”
“Oh, ya, blowing yourself up, you down, bro?”

Ya, I was all in but had to bow out on the killing myself part. Too early in my career. Maybe when I get sick of this whole blogging, when internet surfing and making memes gets too oppressive, I may hit you guys up.

Thank you for your consideration.

[H/T Vox]

TAGSAl Qaedaemployment opportunitiesTerrorism