Damn Straight America Is Building An Asteroid Hunting Team To Keep The World Safe From Utter Annihilation

For the the past 100 years, America has protected the world from man-made dangers. We’ve stopped Fascists and Nazis. Made Communism our bitch. Killed Kaisers. Stopped dictators in over 2,000 countries. Taken on the threat of radical Islam. Pissed in the face of genocidal maniacs.

All in a day’s work for America.

Basically, if we didn’t exist, everyone on the planet would be dead and enslaved.

And now, we’re stepping up to the plate again.

This time, it isn’t threats from on the planet we’re agreeing to fight, but rather space. FUCK YEA SPACE YOU GONNA GET IT.

From CNN:

NASA has set up a Planetary Defense Coordination Office — to defend the Earth from asteroids and comets that get too close for our comfort.

The department, which includes the position of Planetary Defense Officer, is managed by the Planetary Science Division of the Science Mission Directorate at NASA Headquarters in Washington DC.

How do I become Planetary Defense Officer? God, think of the fucking TRIM you could pick up with that title. What do you do? I SAVE THE EARTH EVERY FUCKING DAY.

Sign me the fuck up.

[Its] mission includes the early detection of potentially hazardous objects (PHOs) — asteroids and comets which get within 0.05 Astronomical Units of Earth’s orbit around the sun (7.5 million kilometers) and are large enough, greater than around 30 – 50 meters (98 – 164 feet), to reach the Earth’s surface.

Then we’re gonna turn those fuckers into Dresden, circa 1945. From NASA’s release on the creation of the office.

NASA’s long-term planetary defense goals include developing technology and techniques for deflecting or redirecting objects that are determined to be on an impact course with Earth. NASA’s Asteroid Redirect Mission concept would demonstrate the effectiveness of the gravity tractor method of planetary defense, using the mass of another object to pull an asteroid slightly from its original orbital path. The joint NASA-European Space Agency Asteroid Impact and Deflection Assessment (AIDA) mission concept, if pursued, would demonstrate an impact deflection method of planetary defense.

If only the dinosaurs had America.

[Via CNN]