Americans Are Getting Much Better at Passing Drug Tests

Before I started there, I had to pass a drug test. They asked me to come back over winter break, and again, I had to take a drug test. This was despite having worked there three months earlier. All four years in college I worked for them, the process always repeating itself. Come back to work during any break, take a drug test. They administered nine to me over the course of four years. 

I passed everyone, despite going to a college that right now tops the Princeton Review as the best school for stoners in America.

Let's just say my piss wasn't always clean as it needed to be pass a drug test. Now, it appears the rest of America is catching on. It ain't hard to pass a drug test. From CBS Boston

A medical testing company called Quest Diagnostics analyzed decades worth of drug tests – about 125 million of them – and found that only 3.6-percent came back positive for cocaine and marijuana.

That’s down from more 13-percent in 1988.

You may think people are doing less drugs, but no. Americans are doing drugs like WOAH. Which means we are finally using the internet for its most pure purpose: scoring drugs and researching how to pass employer-mandated drug tests. God bless the USA. God bless it, indeed. 

[H/T Digg, cocaine image via Shutterstock]