Anthony Bourdain knows food like Snoop Dogg knows weed. The 60-year-old is a world renowned chef whose knowledge of the culinary industry has made him an international celebrity. That’s why when he gives tips about cooking procedures, it may be best to lend an ear. In an interview with Tech Insider, Bourdain revealed how to whip up the ultimate scrambled eggs–Fluffy, airy, and rippled. He stresses that scrambled eggs are about the egg–therefore no milk, water, or cream necessary. I’m going to respectfully disagree here and say that scrambled eggs are a way to get exorbitant amounts of cheese in your face hole, but I’ll defer to the professional.
According to one of the world’s best chef’s, here is the best (and very simple) way to make scrambie eggs.
1.) Bourdain advises using a hot pan, but not too hot. Touch it to make sure it’s the right temperature. Just kidding, do not do that.
2.) Crack eggs on a flat surface and put them in an “intermediate vessel” (more commonly known as ‘bowl’ for us non-assholes).
3.) Beat them with a fork to achieve a ripple of white and yellow throughout, not a homogenous yellow. Be sure not to overbeat them like you do your penis you sick fuck.
4.) After beating the egg, IMMEDIATELY put it in the pan heated with plenty of hot, foaming whole butter. Letting the eggs sit gets you this “odd, greying, stippling effect that you may recognize from a greasy spoon.”
5.) Add salt and pepper.
6.) Let them form up a bit, and then push them around using a figure-8 pattern to fold. This will avoid those annoying tiny little egg bits as final product.
There you have it, bros. Impress your Tinder date the morning after with some bomb ass scrambies. And don’t say I’ve never done nothing for ya.
[h/t The Independent]