There Is Now An App That Let’s You And Your One-Night Stand Record Yourselves ‘Consenting’ To Have Sex
Nothing enhances the pent-up desire to have sex quite like pausing your foreplay to look into a camera and say, “I consent to having sex with this person.” That unbridled appetite to fuck is, what I can only imagine, a direct side effect of taking a few minutes to document your consent by using the We-Consent app. God, your dick must be drilling through your pants just from reading about all this fun.
Um, yeah. Not so much.
Halting an intimate moment to load an app and then shoot a serious video seems like the last thing anyone wants to do before having sex. But look, we live in an age where people need an app for everything (so there’s that). Sadly, we also live in an age where people make false claims about being raped (what is even more sad is that rape is still something that exists, but that’s a completely different topic altogether). That’s where We-Consent is trying to help out. I say “trying,” because the app is not without its flaws or its fair share of naysayers.
The Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Centre (RASASC) had this to say about the We-Consent App:
‘This app seems to completely misunderstand sexual consent as an ongoing process rather than a one-off decision.
‘It also appears to be based on the myth of sexual miscommunication, that rape is the result of a misunderstanding of consent rather than a decision made by a rapist.’
Fair point. Entirely fair. However, couldn’t this app help out someone who was falsely accused of rape? I mean, if he had just used the app he
would have lost all of his desire to have sex in the first place might not be in that predicament to begin with. So it might help. Then again, it might not. Because using this app as the baseline to say, with certainty, that both parties consented to sex would only work if everyone owned and used the app. That will never happen. Even if that were the case, would not using it suggest that a person was, in fact, guilty of what was being accused?
Another glaring issue is does the app really help the case for people who use it? Does being able to speak into the app and say, “I consent” even when you’re blacked out mean that everything is suddenly alright? I would argue that it doesn’t. I’d have to imagine that most rational people would agree. The app is flawed. FLAWED, I TELL YOU!
Your best bet is to just find a girlfriend, propose to her, make the obligatory jokes about how “she’s making an honest man out of me,” get married, and eventually stop having sex altogether. Way less to worry about that way.