This Baby Monkey Taking A Bath Is A Euphoria I Can Only Hope To Achieve On Molly

by 3 years ago  •  3 Comments
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Baby monkeys are the cutest babies on the planet. You could make a strong case for baby pandas, baby koalas, baby pug puppies, and baby asians, but besides that I could watch a baby monkey slug my grandmother in the back of the cranium and be like “Awww!! Grandma must have been talking shit because nothing this fucking adorable would act without provocation. Shut your shit-talking mouth grandma or I’ll send you to an assisted-living home. Come on, baby monkey, let’s go play video games while grandma takes a nap on the kitchen floor.”

But, in a perfect world, I’d prefer the baby monkey keeps its adorable little paws off my grandmother and spends his time doing adorable activities like taking a bath in a tub I’ll use to make jungle juice this fourth of July. To see all the stresses of being a baby monkey just melt away as a stream of water or Smirnoff Ice (wishful thinking) pours over his tiny little adorable body is a happiness that I can only hope to achieve through the use of explicit Class D drugs. My landlord shut off the hot water in my apartment so I’m freshening up bouncing from toe-to-toe while holding my pecker screaming “Ah ah fuck fuck fuck.” It’s refreshing to see this little dude getting the royal treatment he deserves. Def gotta include this in my fourth plans this weekend, best wingman on the planet, bar none.

GRANDMA! WE’RE HUNGRY! THE MEATLOAF! FUCK!

[H/T Daily Dot]


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