I Fell Asleep Driving Back From My Best Friend’s Bachelor Party And Paid For It Royally

Listen, I’ve already accepted I’m never, ever going to live this down. The following video is only getting posted as result of endless badgering from my friends after it made the rounds at my best friend’s wedding in Chicago this weekend.

A short backstory: we (myself, the groom, and his little brother) were on our way back to San Diego in August following a raucous bachelor party weekend in Malibu that involved a lot of drinking and very little sleep. I never sleep in cars. Except this one time. And I paid for it with my soul.

Full-disclosure, I didn’t actually shit myself, but I might as well have given my reaction. I didn’t even know my face could do these things. Full range of emotions right here.


1) Holy fucking shit what’s going on?
2) Car crash!??? Dying? Fuckkkk!
3) Wait no, coast is clear…?
4) Ugh just a (great) prank.
4) Fuck you, Scotty and Todd Parker.
5) Anddd I’m going back to sleep.

Laugh, laugh all you want at the scariest moment of my life. Can’t say that death stare wasn’t incredible.

[h/t the Parker bros, and a huge congratulations Todd & Adria on your marriage]