Woman Pissed Off About Bad WiFi At Taco Bell Pulls A Knife On Teenagers Because That’s What Crazy People Do

A 48-year-old Oklahoma woman was arrested on Thursday after police indicated that she threatened a group of teens outside a Taco Bell.

Police Chief Nate King told the Tahlequah Daily Press that Amber Henson was pissed off at the poor internet connection at Taco Bell so she projected her rage at a group of teens who were probably stoned minding their own business.

Says King,

“The boys were kind of in the way of the drink fountain and she had to squeeze through them to get her drink. She got agitated and spilled her drink on one of them.”

Henson was then booted from the restaurant where she glared at them through the glass while they finished eating. Looked something like this I’d imagine:

“When they left she confronted them and pulled a knife and said, ‘If you want some of me, come on,’” said King.

The teens were able to identify the suspect via social media #millennials.

Henson now faces one charge of assault with a dangerous weapon on a minor.

I think the most surprising part of this entire story isn’t that the lady glared at the dudes for 20 minutes before they left, or that she pulled a knife on minors, it’s that Taco Bell has WiFi. Was this common knowledge? Maybe someone told me but I don’t think I’ve ever been to Taco Bell when I wasn’t blacked out so I cannot be held responsible for any tidbits of information when I’m drooling on myself. But it’s surprising to me because you go to Taco Bell to escape the world. You never bring your world into Taco Bell. No one catches up on work deliverables while they’re gouging on a Gordita. Taco Bell is to productivity what church is to state. Never shall they become one. And when they do, there is a high risk of someone getting stabbed.

[h/t Gawker]


Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.