Real-Life Walter White Busted Cooking Meth In A Minivan By The Beach

A Florida Man has landed himself behind bars after he was found cooking meth from his Chrysler Minivan near a beachside jetty in Venice, Florida.

I’ve said it time and again here, but I truly love when my little nook and cranny of Florida makes it into the news because it’s always for something so ridiculous it’s hard to believe (like testicle-eating fish in the waters). And though I’m from Sarasota and would NEVER claim anything positive about Venice, Venice is a part of Sarasota County so deep down it holds a special place in my heart…It’s sort of like the armpit of Sarasota County.

Back to the meth cooker: deputies on foot saw smoke coming from a van in the beach/jetty parking lot at 10am, and after investigating found Edward Moore, 49, cooking up his special strain of meth. Edward Moore was found in possession of 251.3 grams of liquid methamphetamine and 1.7 grams of powder meth. What’s interesting about this is that the cops appear to have charged him under the assumption that every gram of liquid in the van is ‘meth’, so that’ll be fun to see how those charges play out in court.

The Sarasota Herald Tribune reports:

Deputies thought the vehicle was on fire, but as they approached, they noticed Moore — holding a plastic bottle and aquarium tubing — getting out of the passenger side, according to the sheriff’s office.

Moore was handcuffed and taken away from the area, while deputies secured the scene. A second plastic bottle with tubing was found in a nearby trash can. Inside the van, deputies found liquid drain cleaner, salt, plastic bags containing cloudy liquid and bags containing coffee filters and powder.

Moore is charged with trafficking methamphetamine over 200 grams, manufacturing methamphetamine, possession of methamphetamine and unlawful possession of hydrochloride gas.

Walter White he is not.

Walter White would never be dumb enough to get caught cooking up his meth in a crowded beach parking lot. I’ve been to this parking lot many times, not only is it the only beach in Sarasota with surfable waves, it’s also a popular fishing spot, it has a dock to put your boat in the water, and there are multiple restaurants…This place is all sorts of crowded. This place is the last place in Sarasota County you should ever cook meth. Edward Moore is not a smart man. A smart man would drive out east of the highway to land where the nearest person is tens of miles away.

Out there the only form of life you’re going to see is a feral pig, and you can cook your meth in peace without fear of getting caught by cops on foot patrol in a crowded area. I’m actually pissed off at how bush league of an attempt to cook up meth this was and I’ve never even smoked (or seen) meth. Fucking amateurs!

[The Herald Tribune]