The 7 Best Days During the Year to Pretend You’re Sick to Skip Work or School

Without further ado, here are all types of sick days Bro's should request off :

First Two Days (Thursday and Friday) of the NCAA Tournament

For hoops junkies like myself, this is the crown jewel of sick days. My history of these as “sick days” started when I was like 10 years old. Our grade school decided to give us off these two days as “snow days” that we never used early in the year. They actually ended up doing it for like 3 straight years. Part of me wonders now if the nuns in the school had some sort of gambling addiction they needed to address. I sat with my brothers as we watched upsets, crazy finishes, and highlighted our correct picks with yellow magic markers. When dad came home, he'd always have snacks and soda to try and keep us up as long as possible. It was then and there, that I promised myself would never willingly go to school or work on these days.

I kept that promise true in high school as I would often be persuade my parents to let me stay home since I hadn't missed many days in the year. Throughout college, i never missed any action as I was (thank God) always on spring break that week.

As an employee now, if only granted two sick days throughout the entire year, these would no doubt be the two I choose.
To me nothing beats these two days of planting yourself on a couch, watching hoops for 12 straight hours, pounding beers, breaking your friends balls about their bracket, and devouring greasy food.

Friday of Homecoming Weekend

Holds especially true for bro's who attended college out of state, as it becomes a day of travel. I luckily attended within a driving distance, so I always use this day to make the 3 hour trek to the old stomping grounds. Always makes the trip go that much faster as the phone calls and texts roll in from old buddies describing just how absurd the next 48 hours plan to be, or how excited everyone is to get the crew back together. Absolutely worth taking the sick day to maximize your weekend with old friends, especially if you get a bar night out of it.

Day After the Super Bowl

Speaks for itself really, no excuse to be in work at all. The entire country should be shut down to recoup and be given a day to prep for finding out the annoying, clueless lady in your office hit the half, and final of your Super Bowl box pool because she picked a box # of the year “Matlock” came out, or the number of combined whiskers her 4 cats have.

True story, I went to school with a kid who told me over lunch that he never ever in his life went to school the day after The Super Bowl…props on the dedication bro.

Bachelor Party Weekend

Picture yourself in these two scenario's and tell me which one wins 8 million times in a row :

1- You're grinding out hour number six of eight during your last day of the week, hovering over excel sheets, reports and emails when all you want to do is get the hell out of there. As a break from the torture you head down the hall to grab a cup of coffee or a soda to liven you up for the last stretch of the day. You pass by one of your boy's cubicles to delay the return to the jail cell that is your cubicle, when you notice he isn't there. You ask the guy next to him where he is, and he says “he's out of town….Bachelor Party weekend” as you both shake your heads in disgust that it's not either of you lucky enough to disappear from the reality of work.

2- You're the guy on the Bachelor Party weekend.

Golf Outing

Bonus points if it's on a Tuesday or a Wednesday, that's like putting on pants and finding $100 in the pocket. Is there anything better than taking off a Tuesday or Wednsday to go play golf with your boys, family, or frat brothers while crushing beers and slamming overcooked hotdogs all day long? No, no there is not. 

St.Patty's Day / Day after local St.Patty's Day Parade

I fall into the second part of this category, as Staten Island holds it's own parade every year on a Sunday in earch March. Hoboken had the same thing, before the city became so soft it cancelled it. Regardless of which day you choose, you know why you're picking it to induldge in : Green beer, bagpipes, Irish girls, corned beef, Jameson, and Guiness or you're taking the day off to rid your body of those poisonous demons.

In a stroke of luck, the Staten Island parade is on St.Patty's Day this year because the NYC parade can't be on a Sunday. You can bet for damn sure, March 18th is a “sick day” for me.

Got any days I missed or a great “sick day” story, get at me with them on twitter @triangle_and_2

[Bachelor party image via ShutterStock]