Before I get into one of the most embarrassing stories of my life, just know that the paintball prank video you came here for is down below the fold, because it might be slightly nsfw for some of you and I had to put some text before it for sake of all you who might not be able to click things like this at work.
Now that that’s out of the way, let me tell you a little story about my first week of middle school. I have a late Summer birthday, right on that week before school started, so I never brought in plates of cupcakes because I was starved for attention like the rest of you lil bitches. No, we’d always celebrate my birthday with my friends and family outside of school. Flashback to whatever year it was when I was going into 6th grade and beginning middle school, it was a time when ‘paintball‘ was at PEAK popularity across the nation. So that year for my birthday I had a paintball birthday party.
For whatever reason that day I was wearing a snapback hat instead of a fitted, so there was a slight area of open forehead that wasn’t covered by hat or mask. At some point late in the day I left myself exposed around a corner for too long and my older brother managed to pop off five quick shots that all landed in the exact same spot, from what was probably pretty close range. It was during one of those games of ‘President’, where the object is to protect the person behind you, but all this info is irrelevant anyways. All you need to know is that after getting shot five times in the exact same spot on my forehead I ended up going into my first day of middle school (an all new school) with the biggest fucking welt you’ve ever seen, smack dab in the middle of my forehead. And that wasn’t even the most embarrassing part of my first day. No, the day before school I’d also pinched a damn nerve in my neck and had to show up to school wearing a brace. My bro wanted to ‘sign’ it and drew some inappropriate stuff on there, so I scribbled it out. So I step onto the bus for my first day of middle school and the first hot chick I see asks me ‘oh, is that a Power Rangers’ logo on your neck brace? Is that what 6th graders are into these days?’ Part of me died right there.
This story wasn’t really relevant to the post, but I felt it necessary to share it because the video below of this bro getting shot to hell while in the shower might be slightly NSFW for some of you, and I needed to make sure it was below the fold. So here it is, either the best or worst paintball prank I’ve ever seen, I’m still undecided on which it is, but then again I haven’t seen all that many paintball pranks in my day….
[via @lunatic_living Instagram]