Bro Gets Bike Stolen, Writes A ‘Dear Douchebag’ Letter That Says There’s A GPS In The Bike Frame
See guys, this is why I don’t ride bicycles. Not only do people run around stealing them left and right, but who the fuck takes the time to put a GPS tracker into a bike? If your bike’s been stolen enough times to warrant installing a frickin’ GPS into the frame, the universe might just be telling you that its time get rid of the damn bike and invest in a car.
” The bike’s owner, Aaron Rush, 23, made the demand in a letter which has now become something of an internet hit after it was picked up by bike tech company Blaze over the weekend.
The letter begins with the heading ‘Dear Douchebag Bike Thief’ and goes on to explain how the owner, a self-proclaimed ‘poor student’, has been able to trace the bike using the tracker fitted inside the frame…
After the bike was stolen, Mr Rush decided to tape several of the letters to the bike rack where it was taken from before checking the tracker…
Mr Rush said: ‘I checked the tracker last week and I could tell that it was still in Kings Langley, so I assumed that would be fine, so I didn’t check it again until this weekend but it couldn’t find a signal anywhere, so I don’t know if it’s broken or whether it’s been switched off.'”
Sorry dude, but chances are your bike is probably on its way to bike heaven. If it’s any consolation, it’s probably slayin’ all the female bike poon there is to slay…how that helps you afford a new bike, I can’t say.