I want to be true I want it to be true I want it to be true…
According to a joint investigation between the tabloid website Radar and the tabloid mag Globe—so take everything that comes after this statement with a grain of salt—Bill Clinton began an affair with Elizabeth Hurley in 1998 that lasted for an entire year. (Kids: This was one year after Hurley played Vanessa Kensington in Austin Powers. Just before she did Bedazzled. She was, arguably, the hottest woman in the world at the time.)
Clinton and Hurley’s alleged hookup all comes from an unexpected source: character actor Tom Sizemore. Sizemore says he was attending a special White House screening of Saving Private Ryan when Clinton approached him, asked if he’d like to see the Lincoln Bedroom, and then confronted him about his ex-girlfriend, Hurley. Sizemore recounted what happened next on a tape obtained by Radar:
“We walk in,” Sizemore says on the tape, when suddenly Clinton, then in his second-term of office, asked point-blank, “Did you go with Liz Hurley for four years? Do you still see her?”
When Sizemore confirmed they had dated but were no longer together, he says the President asked for her number.
Stunned at the suggestion, Sizemore admitted to being somewhat hesitant to dole out the digits, but claims Clinton insisted: “Give it to me. You dumb motherfucker, I’m the Commander-in-Chief of the United States of America. The buck stops here. Give me the damn number.”
Either Clinton talks like a movie villain, or Sizemore might be embellishing that quote. Regardless, the next event, if true, would be the most incredible misuse of presidential power since Teddy Roosevelt used a gatling gun on an elephant herd:
“Elizabeth, this is your Commander-in-Chief,” Clinton said to the actress.
And though Hurley at first thought it was a joke, she played coy, but the President wouldn’t take no for an answer!
Clinton said, “Listen Elizabeth, this is the President!” Sizemore recalls. “‘I don’t have any time for this shit. I‘m keeping the world from nuclear war all the time. I’m sending a plane to pick you up.”
Hours later, he claims, Hurley was at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Again, these quotes don’t really jive with anything we know about Clinton, whose real power is said to be his charm, not his tendency to straight-up threaten world-famous actresses. Hurley said as much on Twitter today.
Ludicrously silly stories about me & Bill Clinton. Totally untrue. In the hands of my lawyers. Yawn.
— Elizabeth Hurley (@ElizabethHurley) February 5, 2014
Nevertheless, Sizemore is adamant the affair is true. And if it is, Clinton should assume his rightful place beside Marilyn Monroe-bedding JFK as a face on the Mt. Rushmore of Presidential Poonhounds.
He’s probably already there, but still.