A Tree.
Ornaments.
Lights.
Wreaths.
Snowglobes and other stupid table/mantle knick knacks.
These things represent the only SHIT you kind of need to celebrate Christmas. You could even do without the last two on that list. Nobody needs a fucking wreath.
Maybe living in a city where space is at a premium has jaded me. Or maybe having to pull boxes out of unnecessary holiday shit out of the attic as a kid scarred me for life, but I’m 10000% on board with this guy. No one needs a set of Christmas-themed dishes or mugs or flatware. I mean, what the fuck? Are you going to forget that you’re eating Christmas dinner and drinking egg nog?
One set of plates. One set of mugs. One set of flatware. That’s all you need.
Via Craigslist:
Here we have some stupid christmas shit.
They’re pretty ugly but my ex-wife really liked them. So much so that, just like me, she left them behind.
Her loss your gain!
Four mugs for hot coco when you and the important people in your life are gathered around the Firelog channel in your ugly sweaters complaining about the mild Vancouver winters.
Three plates so that while you all are enjoying your coco, three of you can also enjoy cookies while making sure the second born still knows he was never wanted.
Need to go asap, otherwise they get used for target practice with my buddy’s glock.
I hope he doesn’t find a buyer. These things deserve to the same broken-beyond-repair fate as their marriage.
[H/T Jezebel]