This Boat Captain Crashed His Boat Because He Was Too Busy With His Threeway

by 4 years ago


You can’t be mad. Sure you completely ruined your million dollar boat and got arrested by the NYPD, but that’s pretty much irrelevant next to the fact that you did it while having a THREEWAY. It’s not like you’re a shitty driver or just thought the bridge would magically gtfo of your way, you were busy.

“An amorous boat captain who had left the helm to have a drunken three-way sex escapade caused a minor security scare at New York’s La Guardia Airport on Sunday. Craig Gallo, 51, crashed his boat into the runway lights of the busy hub after descending below deck with James Benenato, 60, and Mary Ann Belson, 60. Galo was charged by the NYPD’s Harbor Unit with operating a boat under the influence and Belson was taken to hospital to be trated for a possible broken nose and jaw. Benenato suffered no physical injuries… A spokesman for the PAPD said that before the smash, ‘a consensual three-way sex endeavor was going on.'”

Via Daily Mail

What’s even better is that no one got to them for a whopping 30 minutes, to which the Port Authority Police Department said if those aboard the boat had been “terrorists with bad intentions, they could have easily succeeded.” Nothing to worry about here, just the fact that three naked drunks on a boat breached your high tech fancy pants security system. Ideally you’ll get lucky and the next breach attempt will be by blind toddlers with tourettes syndrome, or something simple that you can handle. Until then, we salute you Craig Gallo, you crazy bastard. Keep on fuckin’ away.


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