Sometimes searching the Internet all day — in an effort to find compelling #content for you savages to read — takes me to weird places. Or, at least that’s what I’ll tell the company if I’m ever fired and they ask for my computer back, because this thing is brimming with porn and I need to tell them something. Who am I kidding? I won’t explain myself. But I will “accidentally” drop this Macbook into a pot of boiling water the night before I’m supposed to surrender it. Oops, that wasn’t Cavatelli. Silly me. Welp, see ya later, depraved search history.
Anyway, today’s travels lead me to find this question, from a woman who’s boyfriend is not exactly the king of climax. She’s been dating him for a year and he’s only achieved orgasm twice from vaginal sex.
“I have been seeing my boyfriend for a year now and he has only orgasmed twice. I am 30 and he is 34. He tells me that he enjoys our sex but I really don’t know. I am overweight and sometimes I think that’s the reason, but then he also told me he sometimes masturbates. I want kids but how will I ever get pregnant?”
Now, if this question were submitted back in the day when I was in the “Ask A Bro” saddle my answer would have been something like, “Nope. That ain’t right. Nor is it even remotely close to normal. You sure his “sometimes” masturbation sessions aren’t all day jizz-athons? Is he taking any long-term medication? Does he cringe when you attempt to touch him?”
That, however, wasn’t the answer she received. Psychotherapist Pamela Stephenson Connolly said this:
It is normal for anyone to masturbate, whether they have a sexual partner or not. If your boyfriend says he enjoys sex with you, why would you not believe him? It sounds as if you do not have a good relationship with your own body. Body image greatly affects a person’s sexuality – remember that your boyfriend chose you and wants to be with you. As far as his difficulty reaching climax is concerned, this could be due to a number of factors unrelated to how he feels about you, so don’t take it personally… Is he never sufficiently aroused during intercourse to be able to ejaculate? What additional help might he need from you? If you cannot resolve this yourselves, seek help from an expert. Your boyfriend might consider a consultation with a sexual medicine specialist, as there could be a physiological reason. And if physiological factors have been ruled out, look for a good sex therapist.
That answer is ALL FLUFF. I’m sorry, but it is. This guy’s orgasm issues could 100% have to do with the girl. How can this psychotherapist be so cavalier to rule that out immediately? Obviously there can be other factors in play — certain medication is like kryptonite to boners and sex drive, but I think if this guy was popping Zoloft or Propecia the two of them would have come to this conclusion on their own.
Maybe, JUST MAYBE, he really isn’t into her and he’s too much of a pussy to end it so he just jacks off into his hand all day and has half-limp sex with her. Maybe that is the problem.
Show of hands: how many guys know, or have known, a guy in that EXACT situation? I’m willing to bet 90% of you are mentally raising a hand.
What do you think? Should she be concerned?
[H/T The Guardian]