British Man Gets Hit With $250,000 Bill After Unfortunate Sex In Nevada Hot Springs


There’s something majestic about the desert that makes people want to get buck wild, it’s true, just look at Vegas. From the second your plane locks into the gate all you can think about is hittin’ the skins. And apologies if you’ve never been to Vegas, I guess you hate your life and there’s nothing that can be done to save it.

But I digress, the desert is basically a barren wasteland full of cactuses that look like boobs, schlong, and every other member of the human body that you’d see in the bedroom. Just being out in the desert spikes your sex drive unlike any other place on earth, and it’s true (because I said so).

One British man recently fell victim to the urges of his tiny head and hopped in a Nevada hot springs with some (un?)lucky lady, only to get slapped with a $250,000 bill after things went to shit as quickly as possible.

SWNS reports:

A British tourist who had a steamy sex romp in a remote US desert was left with a $250,000 (£165,000) medical bill – after the excitement gave him a heart attack.

Romantic Peter Cousins, 55, was travelling the world with his partner Dawn Reed when they stopped to work on a cowboy ranch in the middle of the Nevada desert.

The raunchy pair discovered a beautiful natural hot spring while out for a walk so stripped off and jumped in for a bit of nookie.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL…Who the hell says ‘nookie’ in a news report?! And British people wonder why we laugh at them!

But moments after their tryst, Peter collapsed and suffered a heart attack – 60 miles away from phone signal – forcing Dawn to run three miles to flag down a trucker.

Poorly Peter was airlifted to hospital and had a life-saving stent placed in his heart, but after a five-day stay was presented with a staggering £165,000 medical bill.

If that wasn’t bad enough, he had to return home and broke up with Dawn, who had to stay and work in the US.

But Peter, from Sturminster Newton, Dorset, insists his outdoor quickie was worth it, and said: “It was the most expensive sex ever.

Peter is still negotiating with the hospital over the bill.

He added: “I’m just really hoping I will be able to get the debt wiped because it will affect my future.

“If the hospital decide I do have to pay back the full amount, I’ll never be able to go to America again. That will hurt.

“Stupidly, I didn’t have travel insurance and although I was expecting a big bill I had to do a double take when I saw it was a quarter of a million dollars.

“I was completely gobsmacked. I wasn’t working at the time as Dawn and I had been travelling the world, so there was no way I could ever afford that.

“It’s bizarre how things have turned out. I would be really upset if this meant I could never enter the country again.”

Firstly, I’m willing to bet the farm that this was NOT the most expensive sex ever. Not in the amount of money exchanged, and not in the relative amount of money. You don’t think that at some point in the entire history of civilization, that someone has dropped more than a quarter mill on sex? To think otherwise would be ridiculous. In fact, it’s only January 20th and I’m willing to bet at least a handful of Saudi Oil princes have each spent half a million on sex.

News.come.au adds to the story:

The partners of two years were living in Portugal when they set out on a round-the-world trip in April 2013. After a few months, they took jobs at a Nevada cowboy ranch.

“Dawn and I took a walk around and discovered these beautiful natural hot springs all over the place,” said Mr Cousins. “One day we thought it would be romantic to make love in the pool.

If you’ve ever had sex in the water you’d know just how fucking STUPID this suggestion is. Sex in the water is EASILY the worst kind of sex, it removes all natural lubrication and replaces it with…water. Which believe it or not, isn’t the most fun thing when friction and your penis come into play.

There’s no word yet on whether or not this guy will make any effort to pay his bill, or just hide out in every other country outside of the USA until the end of days…

For more on this story you can head on over to News.com.au and/or SWNS.