You’ve had the runs from eating the “Angriest Whopper,” you’ve accidentally ingested a “Whopperito” and last month you drunkenly ate six boxes of “Mac-N-Cheese Stuffed Cheetos” and woke up with the worst stomach cramps you’ve ever experienced in your life – but we’re not done. Oh no, we’re just getting started, because today marks the day that the Steakhouse Doritos Burger was crapped into existence.
What is Burger King’s Steakhouse Doritos Burger, you ask? According to The Street, it’s “two meat patties smothered in American cheese and boasting not only the usual lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise, but also a handful of regular-flavored Doritos that, at least in the photo, don’t get soggy under the weight of water tomatoes and lettuce.” Sounds delicious if I’m a drunk college student who only has enough money in her wallet for either a burger or a bag of Doritos, but not both. For the rest of humanity though? You may need to re-evaluate your diet if you ever find this making its way down your esophagus.
Fortunately for us Americans, the Steakhouse Doritos Burger is currently only available in Spain as a limited-time offering that ends November 21st. I say “fortunately,” because it’s not like we need another gut-busting fast food menu item to bring us one step closer to diabetes and high blood pressure. Unless you’re looking to set one foot firmly in a grave before you hit 30 – in which case, go ahead and book that flight to Spain like you were just thinking about. I’m only here to judge, not to stop you.
[H/T The Street]